The power of praying for our kids

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

In the rush of our everyday lives, it’s sometimes hard to set aside focused time to pray for our children, yet what a valuable habit it is to lace into our lives. Each day that we have with our children is another day, another opportunity to prepare the grounds for their future by praying into their lives, by praying for their future spouse, their character, friends and outlooks.
It is said that prayer moves the arm of God. You can pray and speak things into being, pray for protection and direction and purpose.
Sometimes from our perspective as mom looking into an unknown future, we may wonder what effect our prayers really have, wonder what exactly to pray for; but there is no greater proof and inspiration to pray than when we read how powerfully a praying mom shaped a child.

One of my favorite books is ‘How to be a God Chaser and a Kid Chaser’ by Thethus & Tommy Tenney. In it, Tommy says:
“My initial influences also entailed a small woman. Her pursuit began daily before I awoke. If I got up a bit early and ventured into the den or living room, I would see my mom ‘pursuing’ in prayer – Bible open, heart panting, passionately chasing God! Quietly observing that daily discipline affected me. It remodeled the blueprint of my future – and perhaps left a small footprint in the sands of time to mark the passing of a ‘God Chaser’. “

What a powerful and beautiful introduction to a child’s heart, to prayer and chasing God! Wiki says this about Tommy Tenney:

Tommy Tenney (born 1956) is an American preacher, best known for his message of “God Chasing”. In his book The God Chasers (1999), Tenney relates experiences of being “in the presence of God”, including one occasion when a pulpit was purportedly divinely split in two. He teaches that every christian should pursue an intimate relationship with God, and that supernatural occurrences are an ordinary outcome of the pursuit.

He has written over fifty other books and workbooks, including ‘Hadassah: One Night with the King’ with Mark Andrew Olsen, which was made into a film titled “One Night with the King”, in 2006. He is the CEO of the GodChasers.net which holds offices in Pineville (Alexandria) Louisiana. GodChasers.net operates under its parent of HDE.

If you don’t already have an outlined set of prayers and scriptures to pray over your child, Tommy Tenney’s book mentioned above, has a fantastic ‘31-Day Kid Chaser’s Prayer Guide for God Chasers.‘

Another worldchanger whose path in life was affected by the prayers of his mother, is K.P. Yohannan. In his book ‘Revolution in World Missions’ he says:
“Achyamma’s eyes stung with salty tears. But they were not from the cooking fire or the hot spices that wafted up from the pan. She realised time was short. Her six sons were growing beyond her influence. Yet not one showed signs of going into the Gospel ministry. Except for the youngest – little ‘Yohannachan’ as I was known – every one of her children seemed destined for secular work. My brothers seemed content to live and work around our native village of Niranam in Kerala, South India.
“O God,” she prayed in despair, “let just one of my boys preach!” Like Hannah and so many other saintly mothers in the Bible, my mother had dedicated her children to the Lord. That morning, while preparing breakfast, she vowed to fast secretly until God called one of her sons into His service. Every Friday for the next three and a half years, she fasted. Her prayer was always the same. “

KP Yohannan and his wife Gisela decided to give away their own possessions to help spread the good news of Jesus on the Indian subcontinent. They started by helping 2 dozen national workers in the first year. Then in 1979, K.P. and Gisela officially founded Gospel for Asia. After three decades, the organization now serves in 17 nations.Yohannan argues that Western missionaries are ineffective, and that it is more appropriate to provide financial support to missionaries from the relevant country; Gospel for Asia does this
KP Yohannan is the author of eight books published in the US and has authored more than 200 books published in India. His book Revolution In World Missions has over 2 million copies in print.

Let’s not underestimate the power of praying for our children, starting from today! Pray in front of them, pray over them at bedtime, pray for others with them, instill in their hearts a hunger and love for God that will stay with them when they have their children one day,  teach them to have a passion for God. Entire future generations under you can be changed and impacted by your daily prayers for your children in the next twenty years.
I encourage you to begin the habit of praying for your children daily, if you do not already!

In closing, here’s a prayer by Stormie O’Martian, on Developing a Hunger for the Things of God:

Lord, I pray that You will help (name of child) to be reliable, dependable, responsible, compassionate, sensitive, loving and giving to others. Deliver her/him from any pride, laziness, slothfulness, selfishness, or lust of the flesh. I pray that she/he will have a teachable and submissive spirit, yet be able to stand strong in her/his convictions. I pray that she/he will always desire to belong to a christian church that is alive to the truth of Your Word and the power of the Holy Spirit-led worship and prayer. Write Your law in her/his mind and on her/his heart so that she/he always walks with a confident assurance of the righteousness of Your commands. As shehe learns to pray, teach her/him to listen for Your voice. May there always be a Holy Spirit fire in her/his heart and an unwavering desire for the things of God.

When arguing with your spouse drives you crazy!

Today, I had an argument with my husband on his way out of the door to work. Which is the worst kind of argument, for me because I can’t follow him around finishing the argument off, and for him, because I reckon women can handle a myriad of emotions in a single blink, whereas men can’t. It’s not a put-down, I think it’s just fact. My hubby may well agree.

So, we argued, he left, I mulled over it, he mulled over it, and a perfectly productive day was wasted. Later in the afternoon we finally got to chat to each other on skype, just touching base, and continued to argue. Which led me to this post.

Here are some handy tips to make arguing not so ugly..

1. Stick to Skype arguments
We often argue on Skype, and I realised perhaps others out there don’t know the beauty of arguing on skype! Really, it is beautiful. I can rant and pull my hair out, sigh and roll my eyes, smirk and be sarcastic even, if it gets that ugly, and all he sees is my text. Beautiful! Being a woman who can process a thousand emotions and trains of thought per minute, I can type thirty lines of opinion and emotion in a flash, and he can reply without being interrupted. That should sell arguing on skype to all men, instantly. NO INTERRUPTION, that is unheard of in arguing, right? Skype truly is a marriage saver for us sometimes.

2. Argue in public
It is really awkward and socially inappropriate to rip each other’s heads off in Seattle. So we don’t. We are forced to speak under our breaths, usually (I can grin at how funny this is on hindsight) our ‘conflict management sessions’ peak in intensity, where we whisper really emotionally, and then both stop and breathe. We do this on repeat until we a) fix the problem and kiss and make up, or b) run out of coffee money. At least you get to go home with closure and happiness 🙂

3. Argue in the garden, not in bed
Worst case, the neighbours get a low down on your current argument about the budget or how mad hubby gets about the maid, or how totally illogically I argue. Nontheless, we argue, get it over with, and go to bed happy. Nothing worse than arguing in bed and sulking to sleep, which isn’t really recommended anyhow – Ephesians 4.26 reckons “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” which is something my husband’s grandparents told him once, and is totally true. Which leads me to another point..

4. Don’t argue while angry
Probably the most important of all points. If  you learn to wait it out a bit until you have your emotions under control, chances are you’ll be able to argue it out civilly, without feeling your blood pressure’s about to explode.

5. Keep it decent
Name calling, even swearing if it gets to that, may seem easier when arguing and feeling attacked, but those words last long after the argument’s over. Keep that in mind, and literally make a set line together that you both will not cross, no matter how bad the argument gets. This helps a lot, trust me! And remember, the ‘D’ word should be a no-go zone, divorce is never, ever an option, or spoken of in our household. 😉

6. Timing is everything
Pick your timing. I know arguments usually feel URGENT, but if I’m about to go to the dentist and am nipping straws, I don’t want to argue about why I said that rude comment the other day, and hubby doesn’t want to argue just before he leaves for work, or just before we are about to sleep. Refer back to point 1 about arguing on Skype.. sometime in the day is probably best 🙂

7. Bear in mind the treasure your marriage is, ultimately
We all say things we regret in arguments. Try, in the heat of the moment, to either walk away and revisit later, or to just zip it, swallow your emotions and pride, and for the sake of your marriage, just make peace NOW. Sometimes it’s hard to just give up all the little points you feel you HAVE to make heard, and just say, “honey, this is silly, and not worth our energy, I’m sorry I ..XYZ.. , I love you, please can we let it go?” but it is well worth learning how to do. Your marriage is a long term awesome precious thing, and working on keeping it scar free is really great to learn and practice.

So the next time you feel mad as hell, and open your mouth to retaliate or argue with your spouse, ask yourself if it’s worth it, if it’s put off-able til later, if it can be done over skype, or if it can be avoided altogether.
Speaking of all this, it’s time for me to go and find my hubby and apologize for a crazy day, and then kiss and make up. 😀

Happy marriage building! x