What is it about waiting, that we just don’t like?
In a world where everything is instant and easy, how hard do we find it to just..wait. We get impatient in traffic, give the waiter a hard time if our order is slightly late & heaven forbid if the train is a minute off schedule.
At the end of last year, hubby (who works for himself mostly) and I sat down to chat about our list of debt to pay, medical appointments to make, etc. All feels great when you have a list, and know where you’re going..
This year, business has it that for the first time in our blissful married lives, we are getting a set salary, not the ‘make as and when we need’ which we (meaning I!!) have become so comfortably accustomed to. My ideal list has since gone from exciting to gobsmackingly horrid – I will have to wait painfully as we tick off only one item per month, as opposed to most urgent few first. Oh the horror.
This, after a good subconscious scrutiny, has been the reason for my red flag mood this week. Which has led me to mull over that thing that is so foreign to so many of us.. delayed gratification!
Do you recall the Deferred Gratification Test that was done in the ’70’s?
If you weren’t around then, like me, and have no idea what that was about, no worries, here’s the short of it:
In 1972, an experiment was conducted by a psychologist – Walter Mischel – on a group of four year olds. Each child was offered a marshmallow. They were then given the option of having it now, or waiting a few minutes, and having two. Some children grabbed the marshmallow right away, while others were able to hold off and wait. Interestingly, Mischel followed up on the children as adults and discovered that those who displayed deferred gratification and didn’t eat their marshmallows that day, were considered emotionally intelligent, were generally more self-motivated and successful in school. On the other hand, those who simply couldn’t wait generally had low self-esteem and had suffered in school, labelled by both their teachers and parents as being easily frustrated, stubborn and envious.
This got me smiling, and thinking about my grumpiness over not getting what I want..now.
4 Tips to Feeling Great about Delayed Gratification
1. Have a long term goal
Having a set, written goal as well as specific smaller goals inbetween, helps you stick to the plan and not be swayed by emotional moments and temptation. Reward yourself for sticking to each small goal. We all like rewards, even if given to ourselves, by ourselves 🙂
2. Prioritise!
Think about what your priorities are, and then write them down if need be. In a moment of weakness, recall that food on the table is more important than your shoe cupboard, or that nonurgent camping gadget, say, and walk away!
3. Projection
Envision how great you will feel the moment you reach your goal. The pain of saying no to fifty cheeseburgers will be sweet when you set foot on the beach with your toddlers for the first time. Hold out!
4. Remember the marshmallow test
If some four year olds out there can say NO!, heck, so can you! Seriously though, it is something that you can learn over time. It can help you overcome irritating habits, like overeating and overspending and help with getting out of debt.
Go for it, sit down and write. Regardless of your bad habits, where would you like to be in a year, or five. What would you like to have, or do or be? Make some financial goals, or study goals, whatever it is you need to, set some smaller goals to help you stay on track, and go for it!
Above The Daily Grind 